Update

So my surgery was last week.  I didn't sleep the night before.  Ok, I got 3 hours.  But not all at once.  I kept freaking out, but by the time I made my peace with being put under my mind was wired and wouldn't shut off.  Oh well.

The surgery was fine.  Once I spoke to the anesthesiologist , he assured me I wasn't going to be under for long, or too deep, and I told him I was nervous so he gave me a sedative.  WHICH WAS AWESOME.  It was like floating on a swimming cloud.  And no, that doesn't make sense but I was high so SHUT UP.  It took no time at all and after about 10 minutes in post-op, I got to get dressed.  But then I had to wait for M to finish providing his sample.  BUT AFTER, we went to brunch.  Because at this point it had been 16 hours since I'd had any food and I was staaaarrrrving.

The trip back home was horrible.  By then the pain meds I was given had worn off and it felt like M found every bump in the road.  Of course he didn't mean to, but I felt them all.  Got home around noon and I slept for 3 hours, until he woke me up to see if I was ok or needed anything.  I got up for a couple hours then went right back to sleep.  He woke me at 9 that night so I could eat.  And he brought me a sandwich in bed (bc that's about the limit of his culinary expertise).  It was the best sandwich ever.  Mostly bc I was starving again.

Thursday I felt ok.  Friday I felt better so I attempted laundry.  Ugh.  One load did me in and I slept for the rest of the afternoon.  Saturday I went to brunch with T and that afternoon MJ drove down and brought me a cupcake.  And a special piece of jewelry.  And yes I cried.  Yesterday was the first time I was able to make an entire day w/out pain meds.  Woo!

I see my doc next week for a follow up.  He sent the polyps off to be biopsied, so hopefully I'll have good news (that the biopsy was negative).  And then he said he'd give me medication?  We'll see.

Soon

My surgery is 5 days away.  I'm trying not to panic, but whenever I stop and think about it I just freak out.  I double checked with the nurse and I will be fully under.  Which scares the crap out of me.  But I have great friends who have been reassuring me whenever I go down the panic path.  Also a wonderful husband who, for some strange reason, puts up with the crazy.  And who also convinced me to take 3 days off.

Sideways-edly, the nurse suggested M provide his sample while I'm having my surgery "bc that's still pending."  Which I accidentally agreed to w/out checking with him first.  But he was fine with it.  So, yay?

July 23rd

That's when I'm having surgery.  The doc's office called this morning (while I was in the middle of a venting session with T).  I was getting worried they wouldn't call.  I'd planned on calling them this afternoon if they hadn't called first.  I mean, it's been a week already.

Anyway, you know how my doc drives in from Houston once a week to take care of patients here?  Well apparently the procedure can only be done at his main office so I get to go to Houston.  Not bad really, I'll stay the night at the in-laws so I don't have to get up too early.  Thankfully M's coming with me and can drive us home that afternoon (after I've recovered enough to ride in the car).  The nurse said I should arrive at 8am and will be discharged sometime around 9:30.  Not too bad.  Although I found out I'll have to be put under for the procedure.  Ugh.  I was hoping they'd just numb me.  I'm not looking forward to giving up visual control.

The nurse said I'm supposed to wait a week after surgery before attempting intercourse.  So basically I'm out of babymaking for the month (since the surgery has to be between days 5 & 10 of my cycle).  That's ok, I'll just be ready for the next month.  I'm going to give myself 3 months after the surgery to get pregnant before asking the doc to move to more aggressive measures.  That's a good amount of time, right?  Maybe he'll even tell me when to come back to him if it doesn't happen in a certain amount of time.  I'm just glad I have a doctor who cares and believes me when I say there's something wrong.  Because now I have tangible evidence there is.

Speaking of, I had that conversation with my therapist.  I told her now that I knew there was something I could actually see that might be causing the problem, it's a fixable solution and that gives me hope.  Which is something I was beginning to lose.

Tomorrow I'm going to a 1 year old's birthday party.  Normally this would depress me but I'm actually looking forward to it.  Then I get to spend the afternoon with the nephews having a cookout.  BURGERS!  Weird that that's what makes me really happy.