Side Effects

More side effects from the FSH shots are emerging. Specifically, bloating. I went to New Orleans this past weekend and when I came back I'd gained a couple pounds. I figured it was from all the amazing food, but considering I'd walked ~10 miles each day, that couldn't have been the case. Nope. It was the shots. Bloating and weight gain. Great...

Another side effect I'm seeing an increase in is smell sensitivity. The floors are getting waxed this morning at work and as soon as I smelled it I wanted to hurl. Just now I went into the break room to refill my water and there was a BBQ potluck. I'm 100% on board with BBQ, but for some reason the smell just turned my stomach. Man, I hope that's not going to stick around if I get pregnant.

More drugs!

Friday morning I had bloodwork to check my E2 (Estradiol) levels. The doc called me Saturday to let me know that my levels were lower than they'd like, so I had to double my Menopur dosage. That shot already hurt enough as it was, now it hurts double.

I went this morning for more bloodwork (basically an every other day type thing) and a follicular ultrasound. No changes in my doses based on the blood, so that's good. Ultrasound showed 12 follicles on my right ovary (the lazy one!) and only 4 on my left. Most of them are between 8mm and 14mm, which the tech said was right on schedule. My doc will extract them when they've reached at least 22mm.

I go back in 2 days for more bloodwork and another ultrasound.

And It Begins

Well, we officially started the IVF process. We met with the coordinator about a week into December and I received all of my medications a couple of days before Christmas. Handing over a check for $15,000 was difficult. Paying another $2500 for medication was brutal. We're officially broke.

I started taking a Lupron injection the day after Christmas. Not so bad, although it causes itching and burning at the injection site and minor insomnia.

Last night I began the Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) shots, Gonal and Menopur. They hurt worse than the Lupron. It took me almost 30 minutes to give myself 3 shots because of the difficulty in trying to figure out how to attach all the different needles and mixing the medications. Gonal has to be kept in the fridge, but is supposed to warm up to room temperature before injecting.

My stomach looks like a pincushion. Last week I ended up with a huge bruise because I took the needle out at an angle instead of straight. At least Michael doesn't have to give me any butt shots, so there's at least something to be thankful for.

I go back for more bloodwork tomorrow to see if my FSH meds need adjusting.

Long time coming

Has it really been since November since I posted? Wow, sorry yall.  Here are some updates:

With the encouragement of my therapist and ob-gyn, I started anti-depressants.  What a difference!  I've been on them since February and honestly, I've never felt better.  All of the anger that has been plaguing me is gone.  I no longer feel like the world is out to get me.  I don't feel pressured to produce a kid.  I mean, I still want kids, but the thought of not having one doesn't send me into a depressive spiral.

We bought a house!  Granted, we can't move in until mid-August and our lease at the apartment is up at the end of July, so yeah, we'll be homeless for a couple of weeks.  Thankfully we have family that is willing to put up with us.

And that's it. I think?

Something new-ish

I saw my endocrinologist yesterday and told him about needing IVF.  He was very understanding, as he and his wife had to do the same for their two children.  We talked about alternative/homeopathic options, and he's open to me trying whatever herbs I want.  He also gave me the option of going on birth control for three months to "reset" my reproductive system.  I figure there's no harm, and it's free with insurance, so I agreed.  It's not like we were going to be able to do IVF right away.

Both sets of parents have agreed to help out with a portion of the cost, if needed (which probably, although I'm hoping against hope the BC regimen will work).  So if it comes down to it, we won't have to take out too large of a loan.

The best part of the visit with my endo was him telling me to cut the stress out (I know, easier said than done).  He said sometimes you just have to "tell everyone to screw off" while throwing up the bird.  Yeah, he's a keeper.

Ugh

Well, I met with my doctor last week and he thinks at this point the best option is IVF.  He gave me success rate percentages of other procedures, but they all have the same success rate as IUI (15-20%), whereas IVF has a success rate of 60%.  That's a significant difference.  M and I talked about it over the weekend and agreed it was our best option, even if it's going to be expensive.  After all, why spend a lot of money on multiple failed IUI cycles when we could just invest in IVF and (hopefully) be guaranteed a baby?  My doctor's financial department called yesterday with the numbers: TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.  The majority of that includes dr visits, scans, blood work, etc.  $5000 of it is for medication.  Minus the $5000, it all has to be due at the beginning of the process.  Which means we somehow have to find $15,000.  That we don't have.  We already blew through our savings this year with our other combined medical expenses.  I'm told it's a 2 and a half month process.  But it'll take way longer than that to save up for it.  I'm pretty sure we're screwed, unless our parents decide to help.  Which I don't want to bank on.  My dr gave me 2 financiers who provide loans for IVF, so we'll probably try that.  Or I could always set up a Go Fund Me account.  Yall would donate, right?

Welp

So apparently I'm just not meant to be a mom.  I went through the entire process: letrozole, hcg shot, progesterone.  Did a blood test yesterday and I'm not pregnant.  Seeing the doctor tomorrow to see what's next.