Cyst-emic?

I think I'm all out of words to insert "cyst" in.  Anyway, my doc called me yesterday afternoon.  He's putting me on birth control pills for a month to regulate my hormones aka shrink the current cyst and prevent any more from popping up.  Seems counterproductive, but I guess he knows what he's talking about.  M calls it my Anti-Pregnancy Pregnancy Pill.

Sidewaysedly: I learned that my insurance covers birth control pills 100%.  A nice surprise.  And a thankful one.  Could you imagine working for a company *cough* Hobby Lobby *cough* that doesn't?  So when I have a legit medical condition (PCOS with a massive cyst) that requires the pill to regulate my body to keep me from DYING (it's rare, but a ruptured cyst could cause a wicked infection), I'm able to get said medication at little or (in my case) no cost.  "Religious freedom." PUH.  My religious freedom is that I would like to not die at a young age and also to have children.  Bc yes, as weird as it seems to be taking birth control in order to have babies, there it is.  I wonder if HL would have a problem with THAT.

/End rant/

All Cyst-ems stop

Sooo my cyst is still there. BOO.  And it's roughly the size of the ovary it's on.  Greeeaaaat.  The tech said it *did* shrink, but only a millimeter.  So now I basically sit and wait for the doc to call with next steps (if any).

Cyst-o-matic

Had my follow up appointment with the specialist today.  The biopsy came back normal, as did M's sperm analysis (which resulted in a great big "I TOLD YOU SO").  One of the polyps he pulled was blocking my tube, so there was no way an egg could be fertilized.  Well that solves that.  He then said he was going to start me on Letrozole, in order to produce more eggs which would be followed by an HCG injection to force ovulation.  I had to have a quick ultrasound first to make sure everything was ok.  Well, it's not.  It seems I have a "rather large" cyst on my left ovary, which means I can't start the medication until it's gone.  I have to get another scan the first day of my next cycle to determine whether or not it dissolved on its own or will need help.  I'm hoping it goes away by itself.  The ultrasound tech explained that was why I was having severe pain on that side.  Good to know?  It still sucks though.  After leaving I sat in my car and cried.  Here I thought we'd be making a new set of plans to carry out but it ends up being more waiting.

M is trying to be supportive, but I think he realizes I need to vent & just be upset about it for a while.  He kept sending me links and info on cysts, which is fine, but the fact is I still have to wait until next week to determine whether or not we can move forward.

Update

So my surgery was last week.  I didn't sleep the night before.  Ok, I got 3 hours.  But not all at once.  I kept freaking out, but by the time I made my peace with being put under my mind was wired and wouldn't shut off.  Oh well.

The surgery was fine.  Once I spoke to the anesthesiologist , he assured me I wasn't going to be under for long, or too deep, and I told him I was nervous so he gave me a sedative.  WHICH WAS AWESOME.  It was like floating on a swimming cloud.  And no, that doesn't make sense but I was high so SHUT UP.  It took no time at all and after about 10 minutes in post-op, I got to get dressed.  But then I had to wait for M to finish providing his sample.  BUT AFTER, we went to brunch.  Because at this point it had been 16 hours since I'd had any food and I was staaaarrrrving.

The trip back home was horrible.  By then the pain meds I was given had worn off and it felt like M found every bump in the road.  Of course he didn't mean to, but I felt them all.  Got home around noon and I slept for 3 hours, until he woke me up to see if I was ok or needed anything.  I got up for a couple hours then went right back to sleep.  He woke me at 9 that night so I could eat.  And he brought me a sandwich in bed (bc that's about the limit of his culinary expertise).  It was the best sandwich ever.  Mostly bc I was starving again.

Thursday I felt ok.  Friday I felt better so I attempted laundry.  Ugh.  One load did me in and I slept for the rest of the afternoon.  Saturday I went to brunch with T and that afternoon MJ drove down and brought me a cupcake.  And a special piece of jewelry.  And yes I cried.  Yesterday was the first time I was able to make an entire day w/out pain meds.  Woo!

I see my doc next week for a follow up.  He sent the polyps off to be biopsied, so hopefully I'll have good news (that the biopsy was negative).  And then he said he'd give me medication?  We'll see.

Soon

My surgery is 5 days away.  I'm trying not to panic, but whenever I stop and think about it I just freak out.  I double checked with the nurse and I will be fully under.  Which scares the crap out of me.  But I have great friends who have been reassuring me whenever I go down the panic path.  Also a wonderful husband who, for some strange reason, puts up with the crazy.  And who also convinced me to take 3 days off.

Sideways-edly, the nurse suggested M provide his sample while I'm having my surgery "bc that's still pending."  Which I accidentally agreed to w/out checking with him first.  But he was fine with it.  So, yay?

July 23rd

That's when I'm having surgery.  The doc's office called this morning (while I was in the middle of a venting session with T).  I was getting worried they wouldn't call.  I'd planned on calling them this afternoon if they hadn't called first.  I mean, it's been a week already.

Anyway, you know how my doc drives in from Houston once a week to take care of patients here?  Well apparently the procedure can only be done at his main office so I get to go to Houston.  Not bad really, I'll stay the night at the in-laws so I don't have to get up too early.  Thankfully M's coming with me and can drive us home that afternoon (after I've recovered enough to ride in the car).  The nurse said I should arrive at 8am and will be discharged sometime around 9:30.  Not too bad.  Although I found out I'll have to be put under for the procedure.  Ugh.  I was hoping they'd just numb me.  I'm not looking forward to giving up visual control.

The nurse said I'm supposed to wait a week after surgery before attempting intercourse.  So basically I'm out of babymaking for the month (since the surgery has to be between days 5 & 10 of my cycle).  That's ok, I'll just be ready for the next month.  I'm going to give myself 3 months after the surgery to get pregnant before asking the doc to move to more aggressive measures.  That's a good amount of time, right?  Maybe he'll even tell me when to come back to him if it doesn't happen in a certain amount of time.  I'm just glad I have a doctor who cares and believes me when I say there's something wrong.  Because now I have tangible evidence there is.

Speaking of, I had that conversation with my therapist.  I told her now that I knew there was something I could actually see that might be causing the problem, it's a fixable solution and that gives me hope.  Which is something I was beginning to lose.

Tomorrow I'm going to a 1 year old's birthday party.  Normally this would depress me but I'm actually looking forward to it.  Then I get to spend the afternoon with the nephews having a cookout.  BURGERS!  Weird that that's what makes me really happy.

Cut me open, doc

WELL.  I had my hysterosonogram yesterday.  It sucked.  I mean, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as the hysterosalpingogram, but it was still uncomfortable.  I cramped for hours after it was over.  Anyway, results.  I have two polyps in my uterus which the doc says will have to be surgically removed.  I'm waiting to hear from his office when that'll be scheduled (he drives in from Houston so availability is based on which Thursdays he can get time in the surgery area).  I'm a little nervous.  Well, a lot nervous now since I read over the process:  http://www.summitmedicalgroup.com/library/adult_health/obg_therapeutic_hysteroscopy_for_removal_of_uterine_polyp/

Doc said the polyps are most likely the reason I can't get pregnant, since they keep fertilized eggs from implanting.  I'm hoping that's all that's wrong and can get pregnant soon after their removal.  I really don't want to have to go through the pricey-ness of IVF.

Oh, and apparently my right ovary is a lazy bum.  Doc checked both ovaries and my left is right on schedule but my right is on vacation.  So the combination of lazy ovary and polyps are keeping me from my dream.